Day 729: elders

i arrive in fullerton after an hour and a half on my motorcycle. these trips are getting easier but they’ve lost their novelty so the ease is offset by the reduction in fun. at least i didn’t almost get hit by a car this time.

i’m late. everyone’s already inside, and when i enter, i’m surprised to see them all wearing masks. can’t be too careful with this recent wave, i guess. i put mine on and make my rounds saying hi to my parents, my sister, shaine, my cousin, my uncle and aunt, and my grandpa.

my dad says that everyone has already done “sae-bae”, the korean new year’s tradition where our elders sit in front of us and we bow and tell them happy new years. i guess i’m doing it solo then. my dad needs to leave for work soon, so he wants to perform the ritual now. first, i’ll bow to my grandpa, then to my parents and my uncle and aunt.

my grandpa sits on the floor in front of me and i curl into a little ball on the floor with my face against the ground. may you receive many new year’s blessings, i tell him.

he whips outs an envelope. oh, we’re still doing that? it’s customary for the elders to give money to the youngsters after they bow, but i expected our family to have stopped since there’s not much money going around. tradition is tradition, i guess.

i gratefully receive the envelope. i kind of want to look inside but that’s hella rude so i put it in my jacket pocket. my grandpa clears his throat. the elder also typically delivers some message where they tell the person bowing what they hope to see in them going forward.

“you know what my deepest regret in life is?” he asks me.

“uh oh”, i say as a joke.

“my deepest regret is that when you were choosing your path after high school, i wish i had encouraged you to become a doctor”

wait what

he launches into a sermon about some doctor who won a nobel peace prize serving families in africa

minutes into his speech, my uncle pipes up that my dad needs to go to work soon. my grandpa pretends he heard nothing and continues

when he finally finishes narrating the minute details of this doctor’s careers and accomplishments, i’m still left wondering what this has to do with me

satisfied, my grandpa stands up and my dad and others make their way forward

i turn to my sister behind me. “ok that was the most interesting way to be told that you’re a disappointment”

we laugh