Day 724: sleep where r u
it’s almost laughable how much of a zombie i become when i sleep poorly (yup, still haven’t figured out why my sleep quality in this apartment has been so abysmal — although i slept well when my friend visited and i slept in shiva’s room so i’m going to try sleeping out in the living room in case it’s literally just my room even though i have absolutely no idea why that would be the case)
even the smallest things feel like herculean tasks. things i wanted to do today:
- respond to emails
- add a browserflow feature
- calculate my personal finances for the year
- research and set up mobility routine
- set up legal documents for hiring my friend as a freelancer
- write a personal end of the year review
- write a monthly update for browserflow
- laundry
- continue reading body keeps the score
what i actually did:
- ✨ nothing ✨
even wasting time by watching youtube or scrolling through twitter or reddit felt hard so i mostly just sat, cycled through all the different activities while not actually doing any of them, and was in a half-conscious state for much of the day
if i hadn’t experienced this before with poor sleep (+ rainy days, oh what a deadly combo), i’d think that i’m suffering from depression or have covid or something but i’ve been through this cycle enough times to know that this is just how my body-mind responds when i wake up repeatedly throughout the night for no good reason
ty body for trucking along even when it feels incredibly difficult
may you remain unconscious and not have nightmares tonight
honestly wish i knew what was going on because this is going from “oh what a weird phenomenon” to “oh this is debilitating”
i slept fine when i went home for christmas so is my room haunted or what