Day 717: Artificial Scarcity

personal

Last night, some friends visiting from out of town asked me how much I’d explored LA in the almost two months that I’ve lived here. While I’d ventured to a few different parts of LA, the answer was mostly “not much”. For the most part, I’ve faithfully stayed inside Culver City — actually, mostly inside my apartment in Culver City. On most days, I don’t go anywhere besides Cliffs of Id (my local climbing gym) and occasionally, Trader Joe’s and Chipotle.

This morning, I woke up and decided to go to Hollywood Boulders, another climbing gym in (you guessed it) Hollywood. As I drove there and passed by neighborhoods and streets I’d never seen before, I realized: Wait a second, I could explore like this every day.

I’d recently been feeling a dearth of novelty and community. Is that really a surprise given that I’m mostly working all the time inside my apartment in a new city? In an ocean of possibility, I had somehow managed to squeeze myself inside a tiny bubble and was dying of thirst while being surrounded by water in every direction.

Let’s look at the situation:

  • I’m in an incredibly diverse city of nearly four million people where everyone speaks English
  • I ride a motorcycle which makes traffic and parking much less of a concern thanks to lane splitting and being able to fit anywhere
  • I can work from anywhere as long as there’s an outlet and an Internet connection

So why the heck am I spending all my time alone inside my apartment?

Work.

Since moving here, I’ve been working on Browserflow like crazy. Initially it was because I was getting ready to launch Browserflow on Hacker News. Then it was to deal with the torrent of attention and new users from the launch. Now, the wave has passed and things have settled down — but I’m still sprinting. I’m working all day, every day. Most of the time, working is great fun and I enjoy the time I spend on it. But naturally, there are periods where things feel difficult and I want to slow down. But I don’t let myself. Why?

Do I have investors who are demanding to see progress? No.

Am I going to run out of money anytime soon? No.

Is Browserflow going to suddenly die? No.

The realization I had today was that in a reality of absolute abundance, I’d created a prison of artificial scarcity. All my needs are taken care of. There’s nothing I “need” to do. Any sense of urgency is completely fabricated. I get to make my own rules. Every moment of lack, of this moment not being enough, is rooted in not seeing clearly.

My intention going forward: Relax.

Surrender and trust the process. Take your time and enjoy the journey. There is nowhere to go but here.