Day 565: retreat

personal

been slipping on writing every day — ended up writing the last few posts the day after, which i’d like to avoid making into a habit

my friend jake, who i met on the 3-month meditation retreat in 2018, told me that he’s going on a 2-week ayahuasca + meditation retreat in peru in a few weeks

i’m honestly incredibly tempted to join him. psychedelics have had a profoundly positive impact on my life, and ayahuasca is one of the few substances that i haven’t explored. many of my friends have highly recommended it to me, so i’m curious to see what it can show

if i go, then it’d be my first time taking a full-on break from working and writing here ever since i started this a year and a half ago. the point of me going on this indie maker route was so that i can build a business that supports a lifestyle where i could take breaks like this and disappear for a few weeks on retreats

this almost feels like an extremely opportune time to go because i’m currently right on the cusp of transitioning browserflow from a passion project to a business. if i had paying customers right now, i’d feel uneasy about disappearing for two weeks since i don’t have anyone to provide support or answer questions, but since i don’t have paying customers, that’s not a concern.

once i start having customers, i wouldn’t be able to do something like this until i’ve either hired and trained someone who could fill in for me or browserflow is so stable with enough documentation that i’d feel fine about it running on its own. (the cloud product makes this a bit tricky because something can go wrong at any time vs. a completely local product where downtime isn’t a possibility. for example, i could leave intention alone for months without concerns about it breaking because there are no servers that can go down; this isn’t the case with browserflow)

as i write this, i feel more and more that i should seize on this opportunity and do the retreat because i don’t know how long it’ll be before i’d feel comfortable stepping away for weeks at a time once i get the ball rolling with the business side of browserflow

it’s been a while since i’ve taken a full break from working and i’ve always missed going on retreats a ton so i’m excited!

aside: this feels a bit like cheating on my commitment to not buy a plane ticket to korea until i got my first customer because while i haven’t purchased that ticket, i’d be traveling somewhere else so it’s like keeping the letter of the commitment while not really keeping the spirit of it. i feel ok about this though since this is a special circumstance

if i decide to go, should i:

  1. launch now and let whatever happens happen while i’m away
  2. wait to launch until after the retreat (end of august)?

hm, will probably write about this more tomorrow