Day 353: Bystander

I heard the sound of glass shattering first.

When I turned toward the source, I saw a woman walking quickly. She had clearly been crying.

Behind her was a tattooed man in a bucket hat. He picked up something as he walked, probably pieces of whatever had smashed against the ground.

I stopped and watched and he caught up to her and pulled her by the shoulder to make her face him. After berating her, he wrapped his arm around her neck, put her in a headlock, and started practically dragging her back to where they had walked from.

I was shocked. This kind of aggressive behavior is something you rarely see in public, especially not in a place like Taiwan. The most surprising thing was that this was in the middle of the day in a heavily trafficked street, and dozens of people walked past them as if nothing were happening. Perhaps this shouldn’t be surprising given that confrontation is heavily avoided in Asian cultures, and this appeared to be a private conflict between a couple. Still, this was clearly unacceptable behavior.

Without thinking, I walked up to the pair and stood in the way of the guy.

“Hey, can you stop that?”

I didn’t know whether he’d understand English or not, but it should have been obvious why I was standing in his way.

After a pause, he replied, “She’s my friend.”

Was that supposed to make this okay? “Sure, but she’s clearly not having a good time.” She looked weak and miserable.

At this point, the woman, still in the headlock, said in a quiet voice, “No, it’s okay.”

With that, the guy walked away with the woman in tow.

I stood there not knowing what to do. It seemed the woman didn’t want me to get involved, even though she was in what appeared to be in an abusive situation. I looked around for a police officer but there were none in sight. I don’t know what I would’ve expected even if there were one around. Passersby continued streaming past, no one even glancing at the couple. I watched them until they disappeared out of sight. When I continued on my way home, I couldn’t help but feel like there was more I could’ve done. But what?

What are you supposed to do in this situation?