Day 258: i don't know
my dad previously asked me to be his financial sponsor for his green card, and i looked into what i’d be signing myself up for if i agreed. the government requires applicants to have a sponsor so that they don’t become a “public charge” aka living off government benefits.
here are the fun deets from form i-864, affidavit of support
as a financial sponsor, i’d enter into a legally enforceable contract with two parties:
-
the person i’m sponsoring
i agree to provide the immigrant with “any support necessary to maintain him or her at an income that is at least 125 percent of the Federal Poverty Guidelines for his or her household”
if i don’t, they can sue me to get it
-
the U.S. government
i am responsible for reimbursing the government for any means-tested public benefit received by the immigrant
if i don’t, they can sue me to get it
so what does this mean in practice?
my dad’s household size is 2 (him and my stepmom) which has a federal poverty level of $17,240. 125% of that is $21,550.
if my dad is unable to find work (which seems likely — he’s old, doesn’t speak english, and has no marketable skills afaict) or chooses not to work, i’d be legally bound to pay him $20,000+ every year. i don’t think he’d sue me if i didn’t, but i’m not thrilled about being legally bound to do so.
as for the means-tested public benefit, he wouldn’t need it if he has enough money to live in normal circumstances. the nightmare scenario here is one that i found on reddit while reading a bunch of threads about being a financial sponsor: if my dad were to get on medicaid and used it to receive care like nursing home care or personal care services, i’d be on the hook for the costs. a room at a nursing home apparently costs upwards of $80,000 a year.
best case scenario:
- my dad doesn’t need money from me and doesn’t receive gov. benefits
- cost: $0
worst case scenario:
- my dad milks me for all i’m worth
- cost: $20,000 - $100,000+ a year
the scary part about this is that once i become his sponsor, i can’t back out. the sponsorship ends only if one of the following happens:
- he becomes a U.S. citizen
- he earns 40 work quarters credited toward social security by working ~10 years (not going to happen in my case)
- permanently leaves the country
- dies
i feel stuck.
the worst case scenario is way scarier than i feel comfortable with, but that’s the worst case scenario, not the most likely scenario. i’d assume that if my dad needed long-term medical care, he’d go back to korea where he has health insurance instead of bleeding me dry by staying in the states. but then again, is that true? my dad can be incredibly stubborn, and much of our relationship was him insisting that he knows best. i don’t think it’s out of the question that he decides to stay simply because he wants to. it’s also entirely possible that a bad scenario occurs unintentionally. maybe someone tells him to sign up for medicaid without him realizing what that means for me, he receives a bunch of care, and then surprise, i have to pay up.
if i’m being honest, i don’t want to sponsor him. the fact that he’s completely broke now is evidence of his poor financial skills, and even though he’s sworn up and down that he’ll pay me back whenever i’ve given him money, i don’t see how he ever could. i have no intention of collecting on the money i’d given him and consider it a gift.
at the same time, i’m the only option he’s got. no one else in our family qualifies to be his financial sponsor, and i highly doubt anyone outside of our family would be willing to take on the obligations above.
if i had grown up with him and he’d raised me, i’m sure i’d feel different about all this, but the reality is that he didn’t. i don’t have the emotional attachment that one usually has towards their parents. his support in my life was financial, and i feel like i’ve paid him back for that with the money i’ve given him these last few years.
what do i really know about this man?
what do i owe him, if anything?
is that even the right question to ask?
can i forgive myself if i told him no?
why do i feel responsible for him?
is it possible to go from feeling burdened to feeling glad at the chance to help?
do i truly want that here?
do i love my father?
is it possible to love him and still choose to go my own way?
i don’t know.